


Realization

by TMar



Category: The Sentinel (TV)
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 06:53:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: Blair comes home and Jim gets territorial when hesmells another man on his Guide.





	Realization

**Author's Note:**

> I never noticed before that somehow this wasn't posted, so here it is, 20 years later.

Blair Sandburg knew that sneaking into the loft was not going to get him  
anywhere, but he did it anyway in the hope that Jim was already asleep and  
wouldn't notice. 'Please, let him be asleep and I'll just go in the bathroom  
and shower and I won't have to answer any questions. Please.'

But he was out of luck. Jim was sitting on the sofa watching some late-night  
talk show. Busted. Blair decided to act as though nothing was wrong, so he  
just grinned. "Hey, Jim." He didn't come any closer to the couch than he  
needed to; in fact he tried to edge in the direction of the bathroom without  
*seeming* as though he was trying to do that. 'Just please, please don't let  
Jim have his sense of smell dialled up.'

Jim didn't seem to notice. "Hey, Chief," he said, somewhat distractedly.  
"Good date?"

Blair was almost to the bathroom now. "Yeah, it was." And it had been. It  
had been the first time he'd been out with someone... well, someone *male*  
since he could remember. He had needed it so badly. All he'd ever wanted was  
within his reach every day of his life, and he couldn't have it, so he  
usually sublimated it. Dated women. Lots of women. But it was getting harder  
and harder to do, and tonight he'd just decided, the hell with it. He would  
just go and do whatever with a man, and maybe it would lessen his need for  
Jim. And it had... for about an hour. And he'd neglected to think of the  
consequences. Like maybe the water in the guy's building would be off for  
repairs and maybe he wouldn't be able to take a shower, and maybe he'd come  
back smelling like another man and maybe Jim would notice... 'Don't let him  
notice, don't let him notice,' ran through the anthropologist's head as he  
edged closer to the bathroom.

"Sandburg."

Blair froze. "Yeah?" But even as he asked that question so innocently, Blair  
knew Jim had smelled him. He could see his friend doing the 'sentinel'  
thing: scenting him. Oh G-d. And then Jim got up, looking... angry. 'That's  
it, he's going to throw me out,' was the first thing that ran through  
Blair's mind. But Jim didn't grab him to throw him out.

Jim stood in front of him and asked, "What have you been doing, Chief?"

The best defense was a good offense. "I don't think that's really any of  
your business, Big Guy, do you?" Blair watched as Jim got madder.

"None of my business? I have to live here too, Sandburg! And I can smell it  
on you."

"So let me take a shower and then we can talk, okay?" He tried to turn, but  
Jim grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Who was it, Sandburg? Huh?!"

"Just a guy I know from the university, man. Let me go, Jim. I don't see why  
you're mad." As a matter of fact he *did* - Jim was obviously mad because  
the man he'd been living with for three years was bi and hadn't bothered to  
tell him.

Jim didn't let go. "You don't? I can smell it on you, dammit. I can tell you  
exactly where, how much, all that. You *know* that!" Behind the statement  
was a question Jim hadn't articulated: "Why come home smelling this way?"

"The water in his building was off, Jim. I'm sorry, okay? Let me go take a  
shower now. Okay?"

But Jim didn't let go, he only grabbed Blair's arm and pulled him after him  
into the bathroom.

"Jim, lemme go, man! Jim!" But it was as if his Sentinel couldn't hear him.

***

Jim turned on the shower and dragged his Guide, still fully clothed, into it.  
He began to pull off Blair's clothes with a determination he didn't even  
understand. And all the time Blair was yelling at him to stop.

"No, Chief, you are not gonna smell of another man in my home," he finally  
said as he got the last of his friend's clothes off and began to lather him  
roughly with his own unscented soap.

"G-ddammit, Jim!" Blair had finally stopped resisting, and now he just stood  
there, naked, and let Jim clean him. Finally the last of the other man's  
smell was washed off, and Jim stood back, unsure of what to do next. Blair  
was clean, he smelled like... well, Blair, and that was what Jim had wanted.  
He finally looked up again, into those deep blue eyes, and noticed... oh no.  
He had hurt his Guide. Not physically, but there was a look of resignation  
in those depths, and pain.

'I could have just let him take his shower,' Jim realised. But no, he'd come  
on like the throwback that he was, and Blair would probably never trust him  
again. He had to say something, to try and make Blair understand... even if  
he, Jim Ellison, didn't.

"Chief. Blair. I'm sorry."

Blair said nothing, just stood there trembling, and Jim reached out to  
comfort him, pulling the younger man against himself into a hug.

"Oh, G-d, Blair, I'm sorry. I just... I snapped."

"Jim." The voice was muffled in his wet shirt where he cradled Blair's head.  
Geez, he still had all his clothes on, and they were soaked. His Guide spoke  
again. "Jim. Let me go."

Jim let go and pushed himself away from Blair. "I'm sorry," he repeated.

Blair just looked at him, starting to shiver as the water ran cold.

"Oh, geez." Jim turned off the water and got a towel, wrapping it around his  
Guide's shoulders even as part of his mind warned him that Blair might not  
take kindly to being manhandled yet again. But Blair let him do it.

"Say something, Chief."

"Why, Jim?"

"I..."

"Why did you do it? I told you I was going to shower."

"I just... I smelt him on you, and it felt wrong. I had to make that smell -  
and the feeling - go away." Jim began to feel cold now, too, and got his own  
towel, pulling off his own shirt.

Blair still stood where he'd left him, not bothering to dry himself. In a  
quiet voice he said, "I needed it."

Jim didn't ask what, he simply waited to hear what his friend had to say.

"I haven't had it in so long... It's so different from being with a woman...  
I couldn't take it anymore, Jim. I'm sorry."

Jim was taking off his jeans as he spoke. "Why didn't you just tell me, huh,  
Sandburg?"

"I didn't think you'd understand, man." Blair finally noticed that he was  
cold, and began to dry himself.

Jim was drying himself now, and looking at his friend. To think that some...  
some other *man* had put his hands on Blair... "I can understand that kind  
of need," he said, trying to distract himself from the odd sensations  
flooding him, "but I don't want to know about it if you do it again, Chief.  
Okay?"

Blair wrapped the towel around his waist and finally stepped out of the  
shower, up to Jim. "You want to pretend like it's not going on?"

"Preferably."

"Why, Jim?"

Jim wrapped his own towel around himself, uneasy at the proximity all of a  
sudden. "Well, I don't want to know what you do with women either, Chief."

Blair didn't let it go. "Hey, that's not true. I've come home smelling like  
women and you didn't freak."

"It's not the same, it's..." Jim swallowed, but he couldn't explain. Blair  
was right in his space, so close that he could feel the heat radiating from  
his Guide's body. Oh G-d. He finally settled for, "It doesn't smell the  
same."

Blair was as close as he could be without touching, really pushing this. "It  
turns you off? Makes you feel ill? What?"

"No." Jim felt it - the trapped panther, his animal spirit's frustration.  
There was no way out, unless he hurt Blair by saying something untrue. He  
didn't want to lie to his best friend.

"Let it go, Chief." The desperate "please" was unspoken.

"You need to tell me," Blair insisted.

But Jim couldn't say a word. He could only act. And the only act which he  
was capable of was...

He grabbed Blair by the shoulders and pulled him against him, then leaned  
down and took his mouth.

He didn't want to. He didn't know why he'd done it, but it was all he could  
do. It wasn't a conscious decision. He just *did* it; kissed his Guide.

And his Guide was letting him! Hell, he was actively participating! Jim was  
assaulted by sensations: taste, smell, touch... If he'd been in full command  
of his faculties, he would probably have been grateful that the combination  
kept him from zoning. As it was, the inside of Blair's mouth tasted so, so  
sweet... And Blair smelled just right... And Blair's body against him was  
the only thing that existed... And he never wanted to let go.

Jim had no idea how long they stood there in the bathroom just kissing, but  
eventually it was Blair who pulled away, gasping with excitement, gasping  
for the breath which Jim had stolen away with his own body. Blair's eyes  
were bright in the artificial light, and filled with desire, and...  
confusion. He licked his lips, and Jim felt the desire slam into his  
conscious mind even as it continued to flow through his body, woken by that  
one kiss. 'I want him. Oh, G-d, I want him. I want to kiss him. I want to  
hold him. I want to touch him. I want to make love to him. I want him to do  
it all to me...' But all he could say was, "Blair."

Sandburg was obviously not going to waste time talking, not this time,  
because he dropped the towel, reaching for Jim's and pulling it away also.  
Jim couldn't take his eyes away from his Guide's face, even as this was  
going on. "Do you want it, Jim?" his Guide asked.

Jim couldn't talk; he just nodded.

"Say it."

The Sentinel swallowed. "Yeah."

"Tell me, Jim."

"I do want it. Okay, Sandburg? I want it!" It was almost a growl, and Jim  
was shocked at how desperate he sounded. He lunged forward, pulling Blair to  
him again, tangling his hands in that beautiful damp hair. Jim had often  
heard women complaining to one another about how unfair it was for a man to  
have hair like that, but Jim couldn't agree. It made Blair who he was... and  
he was beautiful.

Blair wasn't trying to get away this time, he was just smiling up at Jim  
in... triumph? Jim swallowed, his realisation allowing him to calm a little.  
Was that what this was all about? "You... you wanted me? Me?" he asked of  
his Guide, needing the answer.

"Yeah, of course I did," Sandburg said, sounding proud. "And when I figured  
you were straight and wouldn't want me, I..."

"Found another man."

"No way, Jim. I sublimated, and when that didn't work, well..."

"Then you found another man."

"Yeah."

Jim leaned down and kissed his Guide again, a kiss of affirmation. "Not  
again. You understand me, Blair? Chief? Never another man, ever again. Only  
me."

"What about women?"

Jim stiffened with fright. Women? Blair still wanted to date women? "What?"

He was relieved when Blair grinned up at him. "I'm joking, man." He was  
allowing Jim to run his fingers through that hair; allowing Jim to gain  
knowledge of him by touch. "No one else, ever, I promise." A long silence,  
as Jim pulled Blair to his chest and cradled him there. "This is sudden,"  
came the muffled voice, vibrations making his skin tingle as Blair spoke.  
"Can you deal with it?"

"I'll have to. I want you."

"Then make love to me." The last was said as Blair lifted his head.

Jim leaned down, whispered, "Oh, yeah," as his mouth touched his Guide's and  
the world faded into the background again. And this time... this time they  
were naked together, gloriously naked, and Jim could feel Blair hard against  
him, knew Blair could feel him as well, hot and hard and desperate.

Jim managed to disengage from his soon-to-be lover's mouth enough to gasp,  
"Upstairs..." But even as he said it he knew they would never make it that  
far. It had to be done here, now.

Blair was obviously in agreement with Jim's unspoken thoughts because he  
mutely shook his head and reached down to cradle both their organs in his  
hand, squeezing slightly, teasingly. "Here, Jim."

"Oh, man." It was all Jim could say as Blair left off teasing and stroked  
the both of them with sure, steady fingers.

Jim looked into his lover's deep blue eyes, and almost came with the  
intensity of desire that he saw there.

"Here, Jim," Blair said again, his hand moving faster over them, drawing  
them both closer to blissful perfection. "Here. I want to feel you, Jim. I  
want to feel your come on me."

That was all it took. Jim bit his lip and stiffened as he came, standing up  
straighter and throwing his head back, but making not one sound as his nerve  
endings sparked. He had to brace himself against the sink to avoid  
collapsing, even as Blair's shout half-deafened him and Blair's come  
spattered all over him.

They had to hold onto each other to avoid falling, and Jim clutched Blair to  
him as if he was never going to let him go. Finally, though, their strength  
returned and they moved away from each other. Jim noted that Blair looked  
shell-shocked, but very happy. Sated, that was the word.

"G-d, Chief," he said in a very unsteady voice, looking down at the two of  
them standing there naked, and noting that they had both come all over each  
other. Even though he would never have considered such a thing before, Jim  
reached out and drew a finger through the sticky mess that covered Blair's  
lower stomach and groin area, feeling his Guide's muscles jump at the touch.

Blair took Jim's hand in his, looking up into the sky-blue eyes. "I wanted  
that," he said, sounding triumphant. "G-d, but I wanted that!"

"Why?"

"To feel you... that part of you... it's primal, man." Blair grinned at him.  
"And to an anthropologist, primal is good."

"Well, that's me... primal." Jim shifted uncomfortably. To him it was just  
starting to feel... sticky. Uncomfortable. "And we need another shower."

"Hey, I can do another shower," Blair agreed. "But *I* get to wash *you*  
this time."

***

And Blair did. He washed Jim with reverence as they stood under the lukewarm  
water, taking care to thoroughly wash each and every bit of his Sentinel's  
skin. It wasn't long before the touches turned into caresses, and then they  
were doing it again, and this time it was Jim touching Blair, learning his  
responses, listening to his heart beat faster, knowing that it was his touch  
that produced that effect. Blair looked into Jim's eyes as he came, and  
there was only one word to describe it all. Beautiful.

***

"The water's cold," Blair said from somewhere in the vicinity of Jim's  
sternum. "And you're still..."

Jim tilted his Guide's head up and kissed him into silence. "First item on  
the agenda: buy a better water heater."

"I think that's way down on my list of priorities, man. First we get dry and  
then I'll take care of *this* for you." As he said the word 'this' Blair  
punctuated it by running just one finger down Jim's erection. Jim breathed  
in sharply and just grinned.

"Sounds good to me Chief. My bed?"

"Oh, yeah, man, definitely yours. That bed is so comfy it's almost sinful."

They got out of the shower and dried each other, taking far longer than was  
necessary. Both were full of questions and concerns, but they both sensed  
that it could wait until tomorrow.

***

Blair awoke feeling strangely... content. Happy. Calm. And the reason for  
this was that he was wrapped in the warm, strong embrace of his Sentinel.  
The sense of rightness that he felt was something new, though. Before, no  
matter whether he'd been with a man or a woman, he'd always felt trapped  
when the actual sex part was over. He usually left without spending the  
night, and waking up with someone in his arms often sent him into a panic  
attack. But this... there was nothing like that here, only the safety of  
being held by Jim.

Blair smiled as he remembered the previous night. Oh, he had taken care of  
Jim's little, er, problem all right... He had made Jim lie down and licked  
him from neck to knee, tasting as much of him as he could, wondering all the  
while what he would taste like to Jim when Jim did this. And he had known  
that Jim would do it. Maybe not right then, but he would. It was faith, of a  
sort.

And when Jim had finally begged him to just *stop* the teasing and to "Get  
ON with it, Chief!", he had grinned and obeyed, taking Jim into his mouth,  
savouring him slowly at first, then adding suction until it had seemed as  
though Jim's head would explode. And when Jim *had* exploded, Blair had  
tasted him properly for the first time, smiling to himself with the  
knowledge that part of Jim was *inside* him now, and that was what he had  
truly wanted all along.

Jim stirred, and Blair allowed Jim to turn over, breaking the embrace. It  
was time to get up, anyway.

Jim stretched, and Blair watched, fascinated by the play of early morning  
light over his lover's body. Jim was beautiful in a Greek god sort of way:  
sculptured and smooth and powerful.

"Morning, Chief," Jim said, reaching back to take Blair into his arms again.

Blair allowed it, reaching over to place a kiss on Jim's lips. "Good morning  
yourself. Sleep well?"

Jim's arms tightened just a bit. "You have no idea, Blair. I don't think  
I've slept so well in... well, I can't remember. Forever."

It thrilled Blair to know he was responsible for Jim's good night. "Well,  
that's great, man."

Jim kissed Blair again: this time with more passion, with dawning hunger.  
"Yeah, it's great. You're great. You were great last night. Everything was  
just great."

"Geez, Jim." Blair smiled at him, slightly unnerved by the praise.

"It's true, you know," Jim said, wriggling against him. "It was. And you  
are."

Blair maneuvered himself away a little. "Don't start something you can't  
finish. You have to be at the station, and I have classes."

"But you'll be over later, right?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't miss it."

And that was it. One last kiss and their daily routine of every weekday for  
three years began. Dress. Wash. Eat. Only this time they'd stop and look at  
each other every few minutes, and smile.

***

Jim sat at his desk at the station and attempted to do paperwork. Simon had  
told him that he wasn't going anywhere until he'd caught up, and he was  
somewhat grateful. Blair usually did the bulk of his paperwork, but they'd  
been so busy lately that it had piled up. And Jim didn't want to make his  
partner do it all - that would be unfair, especially considering the  
strenuous night Blair had had.

The night! 'Shouldn't have thought of that, Ellison,' Jim admonished himself.  
But it was too late, as arousal flooded him. Images, sounds, tactile  
memories came to him: Blair, naked in the shower. Blair's hand, touching him.  
Blair's come, searing his skin with heat. The taste of Blair's mouth. The  
feel of Blair's mouth...

Sex. He'd had sex with his partner, Guide and roommate, right after said  
partner had been with someone else. But Jim didn't care about the someone  
elses - he only cared about himself and Blair, and the moments they'd had,  
and would have again.

"Hey, Jim!" Speak of the devil. Jim used one of Blair's breathing exercises  
to calm himself down somewhat - after all, it wouldn't do to jump his  
partner right in the middle of the bullpen, now would it?

"Hey, Chief." Even as he said it, Jim knew that tonight was too far away. He  
needed Blair, and he needed him *now*.

Blair noticed Jim's condition, somewhat belatedly. "Jim?"

"G-d, Sandburg, what you do to me," he said in a harsh whisper. "I want you  
so bad."

Blair looked around nervously, but there was nobody within earshot. Jim  
would have known that, of course. He took a deep breath. "We can take a  
break and go to the loft..." he suggested.

Jim stood abruptly, thanking his lucky stars that he'd decided to wear a  
long shirt today. "Too long." He headed in the direction of the men's room.

***

Blair followed his lover into the bathroom, which was empty. "You've got to  
be kidding," he said as Jim grabbed his hand and pulled him into one of the  
stalls. "Jim, tell me you're kidding." Jim pulled him hard against him.  
"You're not kidding."

Jim didn't bother to reply but attached his mouth to Blair's, needing to  
taste him, needing his heat. Blair melted, but his conscience wouldn't quite  
let him off the hook. They were in the men's room of the freaking *Cascade  
PD* for crying out loud! When they eventually broke for air he managed,  
"Jim... anybody could come in. We're taking a big risk here."

"I need you, Chief," was all that Jim could say as his hands moved to  
Blair's jeans and began to unbutton them.

Blair leaned his head against the wall, glad that they were in the last  
stall and there was a solid wall to lean on. "We must be out of our minds,  
man. Like totally fried."

Jim had finished undoing Blair's pants. He pushed them down and then undid  
and unzipped his own, wrenching them down as fast as he possibly could.  
"That's because you make me so hot," Jim grinned, fitting himself against  
his Guide, pushing his entire body to the wall with his own larger one,  
pulling up Blair's shirt with one hand. "I need you." The friction caused by  
the proximity of their bodies was sweetly sensual, and Blair barely stifled  
a moan as Jim thrust against him, slowly at first.

"You like that, Chief?" The Sentinel's voice was soft and sexy in his ear.

"No duh, man," Blair responded, thrusting against Jim ever so slightly, as  
much as he could in this position.

It was almost indecent to be doing this here, but it was also highly  
arousing, to know that Jim wanted him badly enough to risk someone coming in  
and finding them. He thrust against Jim harder, a silent plea to finish it.

Jim did as bidden, his movements becoming faster. 'Ooh, yeah, so close...'  
Blair waited for the inevitable.

And then Jim froze. "Shit."

"Wh... what?"

"Quiet," Jim whispered as the bathroom door opened, and two voices filled  
the room.

It was Simon and Joel, in the middle of a discussion. Blair just pushed his  
forehead into Jim's chest and waited, listening to Simon complaining to Joel  
about their budget. "Oh G-d," he whispered, for Sentinel ears only, trying  
to stop the laugh which was bubbling up, trying to escape. The whole  
situation would be amusing someday, hindsight being what it was.

Jim was grinding his teeth; Blair could feel it. And he hadn't moved an  
inch: they were still standing there, groin to groin, the waiting becoming  
agony.

And it certainly seemed like an eternity before Simon and Joel left. Blair  
knew the second they did, however, because Jim sagged against him briefly  
and then began to move against him harder, and faster, and then faster  
still...

"Blair!" It was only a harsh whisper, as his Sentinel climaxed, spilling  
himself in between their moving bodies.

The feel of Jim's seed set Blair off, and he dug his fingers into Jim's  
shirt, ripping it slightly as he hung on for dear life and shuddered through  
his completion.

***

It felt like another eternity before either of them moved, and then Jim  
seemed to realise that he still had his Guide pinned to the wall. He moved  
away. "Oh G-d, Sandburg. I... Geez."

Blair was grinning, looking a bit hysterical. "Yeah, you said it, Jim."

Jim gathered handfuls of toilet paper and began to clean the both of them  
off, taking his time to make sure all evidence of their sex was gone. They'd  
both still *smell* kind of ripe, but not unless somebody got *really* close.

Jim then pulled Blair's pants back in place, and buttoned them.

"Do I look okay?" Blair asked.

Jim zipped up his own pants, nodding. "Yeah, fine. Me?"

"Great." The heat was still there in Blair's eyes.

"We have to talk, Chief."

"I know."

"Later, at home?"

"Sure, Jim."

Jim leaned in for a quick - but hot - kiss before turning and leaving the  
bathroom in quick, sure strides.

Blair waited a while before venturing from the stall. He checked his clothes  
and finger-combed his hair back into some semblance of neatness before  
following.

***

Jim was about to sit down at his desk when Simon, obviously finished his  
discussion with Taggart, yelled his name. "Ellison! My office!"

Jim dutifully went into the office, shutting the door behind him.

"Where's Sandburg?" Simon wanted to know.

"Uh, he stepped out for a second."

"Okay. Look, Brown asked if you can help him out questioning some of the  
witnesses in that kidnapping case. He's already out there. You can take  
these four." Simon handed Jim a file just as Blair came in.

Jim looked the file over. It wasn't really his case, but they had spoken  
about it and it wouldn't be a problem. Jim didn't look at his partner as he  
said, "All right, Sir."

Simon turned to Blair. "Sandburg?"

"Huh?" Blair looked distracted - it was obvious to Jim, and almost as  
obvious to the captain.

"You gonna be there when Jim questions the witnesses?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sure." A beat. "What witnesses?"

"Jim can explain on the way. You all right? You look out of it." Simon,  
looking at Blair, missed seeing Jim bite his lip in an attempt not to have  
some sort of reaction.

"I'm fine, Simon. Just fine, man."

"Okay. Well, then get to it."

The two turned in one motion and headed for the door, only to be stopped by  
Simon's voice. "Jim."

"Yes, Sir?"

"What happened to your shirt?"

Jim forced himself not to look at Blair. "Uh, my shirt, Sir?"

"It's torn."

Blair made a show of looking for the tears, even though the instant Simon  
had mentioned it, he'd known what had caused them. There were some hardly  
noticeable tears just where the shirt covered the left shoulder blade, and  
some larger ones on the right-hand side. And for once in his life, the  
anthropologist couldn't come up with a convincing lie to explain it.

Jim, however... "Blair probably did it."

"What?!" Both his captain and his friend... okay, his lover... spoke at the  
same time.

"Why do you think I don't like him doing my laundry, Sir?"

Simon grunted and waved at them to get out, while Blair whispered, too  
softly for Simon to hear, "I'll get you for that, man."

Jim only grinned and left the office, his Guide following.

***

Having to talk to Simon and actually work a case gave both of them time to  
calm down and think.

Blair thought about how he wanted to be with Jim always. Not just in a  
sexual way, but in every way possible. He wanted to sit snuggled up with Jim  
and watch Jags games. He wanted to sleep in the same bed with Jim. He wanted  
to do everything with Jim. He wanted to... he wanted to proclaim to the  
world that Jim belonged to *him* now. All those women who were hoping to get  
a bit closer to Jim Ellison could just forget it. He wanted to be able to  
put his arm around Jim and say, "He's *mine*."

These thoughts were new for Blair, even if the desire and the love were not.  
Commitment, that's what it was. He, Blair Sandburg, was actually thinking  
commitment, here. He had never before envisioned spending his entire life  
with someone, or wanting to, but now... It was the only thing he *could*  
envision, the only thing he *wanted* to envision. And it wasn't scary at all,  
it was comforting.

Jim questioned the witnesses easily, getting all the information he required  
by using his senses to gauge whether they were telling the truth. It was  
amazingly easy, and the Sentinel wondered if it wasn't because of his and  
Blair's newfound relationship. They were in tune today, and he would get an  
idea of what Blair thought should be asked even before Blair said anything.  
In two and a half hours, they were finished and could head back to the  
station.

As he drove, Jim thought too. He thought about how Blair completed his life.  
He thought about how he couldn't - literally couldn't - imagine life without  
Blair in it. He wanted to have Blair with him always. He wanted to do  
domestic things with his partner, things that to him spoke of a home, a  
family. And more than anything, he wanted to be able to tell people that  
Blair was *his*. All those women who flirted - and sometimes got lucky -  
with the anthropologist could just take a flying leap. 'Blair is *mine*,'  
Jim thought.

They typed up the witness statements at the station, and Simon was so  
pleased that they had managed to get it done so quickly that he was  
extremely affable and just waved when Jim suggested that maybe they could  
leave a little early.

***

Being back at the loft was a little... strange. There was a moment of  
awkwardness when they finally faced each other inside the doorway. There  
would be no more opportunities to turn away, make light of this.

"Jim..."

"Blair..." They both spoke at the same time, then laughed, ending the weird  
moment.

Blair spoke before Jim could. "Why don't we take a nice shower, change, call  
for take-out, and then we'll talk?"

Jim smiled. He had been about to suggest the same thing. "Great minds think  
alike, Sandburg."

"But fools never differ," his lover shot back.

"Ha ha. Okay, you can have first go in the shower."

Blair looked a little disappointed. "Why don't we take one together?"

"Uh, uh, Chief. I think we should talk before we do anything else. Find out  
exactly where we stand."

Blair knew Jim was right. "Okay."

"I'll call for pizza, how about that?" Jim yelled as Blair went into the  
bathroom.

"Yeah, great," Blair replied, already undressing. This was going to be the  
fastest shower on record.

***

They didn't say much until they sat down at the table with the pizza. It  
felt decidedly weird to be eating pizza while wearing nothing but boxer  
shorts. Somehow, more clothes than that had seemed... redundant. Both were  
aware that they wouldn't even be wearing the shorts for all that long,  
anyway.

"So, where do we start?" Blair asked around a mouthful of food.

Jim looked at him, trying to decide where to start. Finally he settled for  
the plainest, simplest thing. "I want you, Chief. With me."

"Like in a real relationship. Boyfriends?"

Jim, taking a drink from his beer, nearly choked. It sounded so weird that  
way, even though it was exactly what he wanted. He nodded, cleared his  
throat. "Yeah."

"So, when we meet people I can say, 'This is my boyfriend, Jim'?"

"Sand*burg*..." Jim began, even knowing it was a joke.

"Lighten up, man. I get it. Just you and me."

"Yeah. Just you and me."

"For how long?"

Jim put down his pizza slice and took his Guide's hand. "For always, of  
course." He paused, knowing that Blair wasn't big on commitment, at least  
not of the romantic relationship type. Blair squeezed his hand back, looking  
decidedly *happy* at that prospect.

"Always. That's a long time, Jim..."

Jim panicked. Was Blair going to say no? His face must have fallen, because  
Blair began to speak really fast, even faster than he normally did.

"It's such a long time but I can handle it if I'm with you you're all I've  
wanted for years anyway and I want to be with you and make love with you  
for*ever*, man, and..."

"Slow down, Chief," Jim said, grinning. "Deep breaths, here."

Blair took a deep breath and let it out. "Yeah, okay." He paused, then, "You  
realise neither of us has said it yet. I think I need to hear it, Jim."

Jim knew instantly what his beautiful lover meant. "I need to hear it too,  
Blair. And say it. I love you. I do."

The smile that came onto Blair's face could have lit up both Cascade and  
Seacouver for a month. He closed his eyes lazily, as if the words themselves  
caressed him. And when he opened them... "I love you, Jim. I always have."

Jim stood up, the pizza forgotten, and pulled Blair into his arms. "G-d, I  
love you. I just saw red when I smelled another man on you. I kept thinking  
that it was wrong, just wrong. It should have been me."

"It will be you, Jim. I don't have your senses, but I smelled you on me all  
day after we came out of the men's room. It felt so good, man, so good." He  
burrowed into Jim's chest, content for the moment.

"And it'll feel better," Jim promised, tilting Blair's chin up for a kiss.

And a sweet kiss it was, all warmth and love without the desperation they  
had both felt last night, and earlier in the day.

When they pulled away, Blair's eyes were bright with love, contentment...  
and the beginnings of desire. "I really wanna make love to you, man," he  
said softly. When Jim didn't answer, merely looked at him with a kind of...  
reverence... he added, "Properly."

The intake of breath proved that he had hit on something Jim had been  
contemplating, too. "H... how?" His Sentinel's voice was husky with the  
beginnings of his own need.

"All we did before was use our hands and... stuff. I want more than that,  
Jim."

A long silence, as Jim swallowed. "Yeah, me too."

"Can you tell me?"

Jim nodded, taking Blair's mouth again in another sweet, promising kiss.  
"Yeah. Upstairs."

They walked upstairs hand in hand, finally standing at the foot of Jim's  
sinfully comfortable bed.

"What do you want, Jim?" Blair asked quietly, not expecting to see the blush  
which spread over his lover's face. "What is it? You can tell me anything,  
you know."

"I know." Jim looked into the dark blue eyes. "I want... what you said  
before. I want you to make love to me. Properly."

Blair was about to ask how, but then he realised the reason for the blush.  
His macho, ex-Army, cop Sentinel wanted... that. He wanted Blair... "You  
want me to be inside you, is that it?" he asked, very quietly. He knew it  
was, but Jim had to confirm it.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure? We could, you know, do it the other way. I've..."

But Jim cut him off. "No, Sandburg. I *need* this, okay? Like you said, it's  
primal, and I... I need it." He pulled Blair against him, letting their twin  
reactions prove just how much they *both* needed it. "Make love to me,  
Chief."

***

Blair did. Once they had gotten rid of the boxers, there was a long, languid  
period of kissing and touching and tasting and smelling, and in between two  
pairs of blue eyes would meet, and they would both smile.

Jim didn't think he'd ever been so aroused, as he catalogued his Guide's  
body with every sense, more intimately than he'd ever been able to before.  
He had no idea how much time had passed, he had no idea what was going on in  
the outside world, he had no sense of anything except Blair: Blair's eyes  
and hair and mouth and skin... He wanted to dive right *inside* and never  
come out again, he wanted to meld the two of them together so tightly that  
they could never be separated again. He wanted to be a part of Blair, for  
Blair to be a part of him... Finally, he realised just what that would  
require, and he was so, so ready for it. "Do it," he whispered harshly into  
the air even as his Guide, his beautiful Guide, was licking his stomach. "Do  
it, please do it!"

Blair's head lifted. "Say it, Jim. Talk dirty to me so I know what you want.  
Say it." His eyes blazed with the need to *hear* their desire articulated.

"Make love to me," Jim ground out, desperately. "Fuck me, own me, please."

And Blair moved back up the bed to kiss him with a combination of tenderness  
and savagery. "We own each other, Jim, we always have. Turn over."

Jim obeyed, shivering not with nervousness but with anticipation. They were  
going to be one, they would be one, they were *destined* to be one! And then  
he felt a hand probing in his most secret place, and one slick finger  
slipped into his body, touching him hesitantly. He let out a groan,  
wondering if he should dial his sense of touch higher... But it might hurt...  
Where had he read that? It went on for so long, just the one finger stroking  
him inside, where no one had ever been... And then he realised that Blair  
was whispering to him insistently.

"... I'm going to take you naked, Jim. Do you understand? Only the two of us,  
now and always. Never any barriers, ever again."

Jim swallowed hard, and pushed back as another finger breached his body.

"Do you understand, Jim?"

The fingers were dancing in him the way they danced over a computer keyboard,  
and the sensation was so weird, so pleasurable, so... *right*... that it  
took all his strength to answer. "Yeah. Yeah, I understand."

"Tell me again that you want it," Blair insisted, even as the fingers were  
removed and Jim could hear the sound of Blair lubricating himself.

"I want it. G-d, but I want it. You."

Hands parted him slowly, fingers checked to see if he was relaxed, and  
then...

Jim arched back at the sensation, as Blair filled him slowly, too slowly for  
his liking. "More," he begged, needing Blair, needing it *all*.

And Blair listened, thrusting into him completely, then stilling. "You okay,  
Jim?"

Jim had lost the power of speech; he just nodded vigorously, waiting for the  
rest of it, wanting to feel his Guide move within him, as Blair plastered  
himself along his back, moving a little to the side so that they lay at an  
angle, so that he could touch Jim at the same time.

But Jim grabbed his hand, pulling it away.

"Tell me, Jim. What?"

"Need... need to feel you, first."

Blair understood, and smiled to himself. He should have realised that Jim  
would want to feel this as much as he could without distractions. He began  
thrusting, then... slowly at first, but then more quickly as Jim thrust back,  
wanting more. "This is so... perfect... Jim, so perfect..." he ground out,  
knowing that it *was* perfect. Together they were perfect.

Jim shuddered with the sensations, knowing they would not be enough to push  
him over the edge, but also knowing that it meant he would feel every second  
of Blair's coming, and he wanted that desperately.

Blair was close, now, they could both feel it. "Jim... Jim!" And then he  
went over, everything coalescing into just one point in space and time,  
freezing him and Jim in this one moment of ecstasy, and he spilled himself  
into Jim in pulses, even as Jim cried out with the feeling of warmth which  
flooded him.

***

It was a long time before Blair could move, and Jim didn't seem inclined to  
move either.

"Jim?"

"Hm?"

"Maybe... uh..." Blair moved a little, but Jim's arm reached back and  
stilled him.

"Wait."

There was a long silence, as Blair waited for Jim to continue.

"I... I can feel it," the Sentinel said.

"What?"

"Your come, inside me. I can feel it... it tingles."

Of course! Millions of tiny little sperm cells, all wriggling... of *course*  
it tingled! Blair did move away this time, something between a smile and a  
frown on his face. "Jim?"

Jim turned over, onto his back. "G-d!"

"Jim?! Jim, what is it?"

"It's just weird, Chief. But good." Jim grinned at him. "That was so good,  
Blair."

"You didn't come."

"It doesn't matter. I felt it when *you* came. I felt everything. It was so  
hot, Chief: you, the flood inside me, all the sensations. We're gonna have  
to do that again."

"Geez, Jim, give me a chance to recover, here!" Blair protested, knowing Jim  
didn't mean *now*.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. But in the meantime I seem to have this problem..."  
Jim gestured vaguely in the direction of his groin. "Think you could help me  
with it?"

Before Jim could even say another word, Blair had shimmied down the bed and  
taken his Sentinel's erection into his mouth, almost in one movement.

"Blair! Geez!" Jim arched into the wet warmth surrounding him. "Give... oh,  
yeah... give a guy a chance."

But Blair wasn't giving him any chance at all, as he braced his arm across  
Jim, preventing him from moving too much, and proceeded to give his lover  
the blow-job of his life.

***

Jim came back to himself, panting harshly. "I thought I was going to  
implode. That was so good, baby."

Blair crawled back up the bed and kissed him. "Can you taste yourself, Jim?  
Like I said, primal."

"Primal," Jim agreed, noting that Blair had not remarked on yet another  
nickname which Jim had given him. It would feel good to be able to call him  
that here, in the privacy of their bedroom. *Their* bedroom. That had a  
great ring to it. He snuggled Blair into his arms. "Sleep, Chief."

"Yeah, we could use it," his lover agreed.

"I love you," Jim said as he drifted off.

And if he hadn't had Sentinel hearing he would have missed Blair's soft,  
sleepy response. "I love you too, Big Guy."

THE END


End file.
